What can I say, some people love Etro, others think it’s for old people. Jacopo Etro himself recently said that his ideal customers are English with homes in London, people who are looking for something unique and handcrafted. I think we all know that places them squarely in the 40 to 60 age bracket, which means a lot of ageing ex hippies who like to travel to Goa or yoga retreats in the Himalayas while they rent out their Kensington mansions through “One Fine Stay”. My experience of Etro is different, I have to admit that I have never been in any of their stores, and I only got the quote above by googling “what do people think of Etro”. At the same time, I once spent more money than I had ever spent on anything fashion on Etro products. A few years ago I was at glamorous wedding in Rajasthan, and as part of a tour the guide naturally wanted to make a bit of extra commission, so he brought us to a textile factory. The owner was rolling out bale after bale of various fabrics and I was half paying attention, when he suddenly opened up a magnificent giant scarf in silk and bamboo fibre, so warm that you could use it as a blanket, and so thin you could pull it through a wedding ring. The patterns were awesome and so were the colours, and so I bought ten on the spot. I thought I would give them away as presents but since I still have 7 I guess you could say they were difficult to part with. Right now I have them hung up as bed boards in my guest rooms, but often I’ll just stop by and feel the amazing fabric.
The ethnic colours from Etro made me think during my recent trip to Japan. Wouldn’t it be amazing if everyone in the world still wore their original ethnic costumes? I love Japan but honestly their search for sartorial conformity has gone too far. Imagine if you walked around downtown Tokyo and everyone was in a beautiful patterned kimono. I bet that instead of rushing off to the next meeting you would be bowing down and inviting strangers to tea, instead of stuck in a sweaty bullet train with a bunch of polyester suits. My top ten ethnic costumes.
10) Lederhosen and dirndls: there is a time and a place, believe it or not. Especially Dirndls
9) Abayas: Anyone who thinks these are an instrument of female oppression which keeps men’s eyes off the girls clearly has never been to a mall in downtown Riyadh. I’ve never seen a more elegant garment if it’s worn right. BTW I once went shopping for panties in Riyadh, and you wouldn’t believe the raunchiness on offer, but I think that’s probably a separate post…
8) Tweed breeks and a kilt. And of course a BIG claymore
7) Kimonos. Beautiful colours, elegant patterns
6) Those penis gourds you see on tribes in the Amazon rainforest, maybe coupled with a bow and arrow and a bond through the nose. Come on, which girl hasn’t fantasised about being abducted and ravished?
5) Georgian dress: not easy but stay with me, think milky complexion, Raven hair, some goats milk cheese and a long mountain walk. And they are great dancers
4) Riding trousers and a whip on a Argentinian gaucho: if that’s not native dress then it should be
3) A little trite but a classic: a flaming red dress with a lot of lace and size 12 hourglass figure on a Spanish flamenco dancer, daring you to look at her while she whirls the castanets
2) Sami dress: this is what the indigenous tribes in North Scandinavia wear on special occasions. Red, orange and blue patterns matching an arctic sunrise, with turned up boots and a reindeer skin hat
1) my number one is maybe a surprising choice, this is the complete white Somali dress with a white turban. There is nothing as elegant and dignified as a native in their clear, starched white robe and turban. Even if you are haggling over the price of a yam, it still feels like Out of Africa
So in a word, the world would be a better place if we all wore native dress, especially men. Who needs the dreary suit and tie combos, come on men, put on your bright colours and your daggers. My only question is, would all of us here in the UK have to paint our faces blue with woad?
