You’ll never end up with the right person. Hear me out, here. No matter how much you pick and choose, regardless of how many “perfect partner” boxes you tick-off, the chances are your chosen one will be flawed beyond comparison. Just like you.
I’m wearing Lubimenya sweatshirt ,Pinko skirt and Dolce&Gabbana trainers
Even after flipping through all his pictures on Instagram and meeting his parents you don’t really know him, do you? Or perhaps you do not know yourself. Most of us think we are relatively normal, and free from bad habits when compared to our peers. Those who observe us from a distance, look at us and may even envy, but you only have to scratch the surface to reveal your inner psycho!
And we all are, to a degree. Therefore, in the early stages of dating it’s a must-do to find out and investigate for yourself all the possible nasty peccadillos hiding inside your date’s head (God forbid he might be the one!).
Having said that, what do we really know about ourselves? Those who are especially close to us, parents, for example, have no choice but to accept us and love us unconditionally. They’d probably be a little uncomfortable pointing out our traits of cretinism, as an inappropriate remark here or there may lead to an everlasting inferiority complex. Thus there’s a good chance they’ll never enlighten us.
What’s more, the longer you are alone, the more you start to believe that you are an easy person to live with. I have a friend who looks at herself every morning and says “who is that gorgeous girl smiling back at me? Some lucky bastard will get to touch that great body and admire that perfect pout…”
But the fact of the matter is she is unbearable. And deep down I think she knows it! Now don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there is some guy out there who’ll one day be able to maintain her, but finding him will be no easy feat. To convince someone to live with you and accept all your imperfections and kooky character traits takes a huge amount of patience and love. Big love.
In the past, marriage often had an exclusively commercial component – land, houses, camels, you name it. Now marriage is more often than not about love. Sometimes it seems the more recklessly you fall in love, the stronger the bond will be.
I don’t think I fully knew my husband and all his flaws until after we had married. You reveal yourself in real-life on every possible level, as soon as you start living together. You might also find out a lot of new things about your chosen mate – he could be someone who screams, throws things around the house and locks himself in the toilet for hours. You will learn one another’s habits and rituals, but perhaps the most important thing is recognising your own. Everyone has complexes, fears and weird behaviours, but until you’re married, it’s not necessarily something we choose to dig into.
Therefore, if you want to achieve a happy marriage, remove those rose-tinted glasses from your eyes and accept the fact that we’re all, at times, angry, childish, enraged and self-centred. You and your partner. After all, the person most suitable for marriage is not the one who shares our individual tastes and preferences, but the one who is able to conduct literate negotiations on the difference in tastes and preferences. Marriage will only work if two complicated people are able to negotiate and make complicated compromises.
