I am wearing Isabel Marant Skirt and Alice and Olivia Blouse
If you live in a suburban area with lots of families, one way or another you will hear chit chat about schools, feeders, 7+ and 11 + exams and so on. It’s a subject that’s high on the list of what to talk about when you meet another mummy. The question of “which school?” is a pretty common icebreaker, whether it’s a quick blether with a neighbour as you rush between your Saturday morning coffee and yoga, or an hour-long convo with another mum at the school gates. In all honesty, it’s not a subject I am particularly fond of discussing, however I can share my insights.
I come from a family that’s always paid a lot of attention to league tables. And it was mainly academic results they were concerned with – the percentage of children achieving A-A*, the percentage of children leaving to this prestigious secondary school or to that top ranking university. Academia and performance was one common denominator in my family. I think I’ve been quite lucky: I went to both state school – up until GCSE’s, and then private school for my A-levels, so I can draw my own conclusions on both.
I started in a Church of England state school just off Marylebone High Street. We had five ability grouping classes. Sometimes it can be hard to get information about the way in which children are grouped at school. Due to the fact that I spoke zero English when I started, I was put at the bottom of the list. Schools have the right to make the final judgement on academic ability, but you, as parents, have the right to have your thoughts and opinions heard too.
Although I did think it was a little crazy to be reading Cinderella as an eleven-year- old, and to be doing maths problems set for a five-year- old, I was assured I needed to be in these classes to support my English and to make me feel comfortable. Little did I know, however, that it is very easy to get too comfortable and start falling behind. Later I learnt that it was absolutely crucial to move up in the group rankings, as my language barrier is clearly no indicator of my natural ability.
I realised that if I stayed, I would only be able to sit GCSE level papers, gaining a maximum of a C grade. So, parents, watch out! Listen carefully to the reasons why your child has been put in a particular group. The teacher may feel it is better for your child and will improve their confidence if they are at the top of a group rather than the bottom, and vice versa. But such a decision should be unanimous and a child’s performance should be reviewed on a regular basis in order for them to reach their maximum potential. And if your child comes from a multilingual background, or you have just moved to the UK and your child is just beginning to learn English, it’s certainly worthwhile to invest in one-to- one tutoring and even additional language courses if necessary.
As a parent, time and effort should also be spent in understanding the school syllabus, as it can vary dramatically from country to country.
To continue with my own story – I got there in the end. I completed 13 GCSE’s, achieving those highly desired A’s and A*’s. The decision was then made to transfer me to private school. And not just any private school – one of the most competitive, academia-focused schools in London – St Paul’s Girl’s School. It is in the same league of secondary schools as many of the city’s best – Godolphin and Latymer, Francis Holland, Henrietta Barnett, Lady Eleanor Holles School, South Hamstead High School, and the boy’s equivalents of St Paul’s (attended by my brother), Westminster, Eton and King’s College. There are of course many others, but I have decided to only focus on non-boarding London based schools. Depending on your child’s personality, however, boarding and living outside the family nest can be great for confidence and independence. Here, of course, you have to draw your own conclusions.
It turned out that my two years spent at SPGS were all-in- all a bit of an OMG experience. Let’s put it this way – if my daughter grows up to be studious with a desire to succeed in academia, this school is definitely for her. All SPGS girls are genuinely very clever and the environment promotes self-discipline in learning and attaining exceptional results. The amount of information that these girls have been given over the years (as most of them came through from 11+) is undoubtedly more than what you are given at a state school.
From the age of 11 upward girls are trained to go above and beyond what the syllabus requires. Their language and science programs are particularly strong, I found, and whatever subject you pick, you are expected to achieve no less than an A grade.
Of course this environment isn’t right for all girls. If your child is stressed or anxious about not fitting in or achieving the required standards, then this school is not for them. Pushing and tutoring your child to become one of these outstanding achievers is also not going to work – I truly believe that you must listen to your child’s worries and needs if you really want to find the best schooling system for them.
I am in no way judging parents who take pride in their child and their school – I’m the first to hold my hands up and admit I can be a pushy mum at times! But one thing I have learnt is if your child really does not have the aptitude or the attitude for academia (and you will be able to tell from a young age), it is your duty to allow them to flourish and learn in the environment that’s most comfortable and rewarding for them.
On the other hand, if you and your child are in agreement that you want to shoot for the top of the league, the opportunities some of these private schools provide are unparalleled. Many girls from my year went to Oxford, Cambridge, Imperial, LSE and even some to Harvard. If you’re lucky enough you may not even face an interview process from universities after successfully completing your A-levels in such a school. If you’re wondering, I ended up at LSE studying Accounting and Finance after achieving top marks in maths, economics and languages. This was the path I truly wanted to take, but if my daughter turns around and tells me one day that she wants to disregard academia in favour of creativity, then I will do everything in my power to make her dreams come true.
Yes, parents, you make the final decision, but don’t forget to heed your child’s voice too, regardless of their age or ability.
