I am wearing Samantha Benveniste Couture jacket, Gucci skirt, Jimmy Choo Over-the-Knee boots & Tom Ford sunglasses
A message to my 20-year-old self:
How long is too long? It seems to be a question that applies to so many aspects of life. For most of us life seems to be divided into various time slots, and these time slots have limits, which we ourselves define. We measure our own and other’s progress according to these limits – but is this really necessary?
How long should I be in full time education? How long do I need to date a guy before we move in together? How long before he proposes, we have kids, I stay at home, we buy a bigger house? How long, how long, how long?!
We get by in life by ticking off boxes based on loosely defined life pinnacles, and the more boxes we tick the more approval we seem to get from the outside world. The question is – are we ticking the right boxes, and who exactly are we ticking them for?
A decade ago I was sitting in a bar in Budapest with a good friend, telling her that I have it all figured out. If a guy does not propose within a year, dump him, I said. If you don’t have kids by the age of 30 you will be too old to even think about it. If he doesn’t want you he is probably shagging somebody else, and so on and so on…
My husband – then boyfriend of three months – was sitting next to us trying to project an unassuming degree of interest and politeness. The poor man didn’t then know who he was dealing with, though he later learnt the hard way when tipsily made an impromptu marriage proposal atop a bridge over the Danube. Though I’m certain he considered leaping into the freezing December waters below, he begrudgingly accepted my offer of lifetime commitment.
He also later learned that I had rather optimistically booked a romantic holiday to Hvar – a year in advance – just a few months after we met.
Here’s my advice: ladies – don’t rush! I don’t regret what happened or how silly and impatient I was. Two wonderful children, a big house and a loving husband is everything I could have wished for. But take it easy! There’s no need to rush to fit into somebody else’s time parameters. Let time take its course, let your men make their own decisions, let everyday surprises be surprising. Time is one of the most precious commodities we have, so learn to prolong your experiences, no matter what they might be.
